The shadowy group of anarchists posing as the columnist "Dear Abby" is at it again. Their mission: edge America's already declining marriage rates into a tailspin.
That's the only possible explanation for the series of letters now appearing in the column advising single women on where to meet "eligible" men.
The first suggestion is: eat breakfast in a diner in Maine! This tip was sent in by---- the owner of a diner in Maine!
Ladies, he advises that you sit at the counter (tables are for married people, not pathetic loners like you!) and bring along a crossword puzzle so that you can engage your syrup slurping prey in conversation by coyly asking for help with the difficult words.
I have to admit, this does sounds like an excellent way to meet male octogenarians who happen to live in Maine, if that's you're thing.
The second letter is even more disturbing: Hang out at McDonald's on Wednesday evenings, when divorced, broke dads while away the brief hours of their court mandated weekly visitation with their small children.
The demographic of single women who prefer divorced, possibly bitter and/or bankrupt men who are part owners of small children has got to be nearly as small as the crossword-solving-octogenarian-Down Easter niche.
The letter warns that these men may be touchy, damaged, and inclined to hate all women but says that "one woman's trash is another woman's treasure," which is high praise indeed.
Even so, wouldn't a single (childless) woman feel a bit awkward clambering up Mayor McCheese? And who do you chat up first: the potential husband or the prospective step child?
Personally, I'd begin with the children, gathering detailed information about their behavior, eating habits, bed time, and the details of the custody arrangement before zeroing in on the fathers.
Is there a more ludicrous, ineffective/ sure-to-lead-to-disaster way to meet single men? Forthcoming Dear Abby columns are rumored to recommend becoming a prison pen pal, hanging around a battered women's shelter, or getting involved in the hair or fashion industry. Happy hunting, ladies.
That's the only possible explanation for the series of letters now appearing in the column advising single women on where to meet "eligible" men.
The first suggestion is: eat breakfast in a diner in Maine! This tip was sent in by---- the owner of a diner in Maine!
Ladies, he advises that you sit at the counter (tables are for married people, not pathetic loners like you!) and bring along a crossword puzzle so that you can engage your syrup slurping prey in conversation by coyly asking for help with the difficult words.
I have to admit, this does sounds like an excellent way to meet male octogenarians who happen to live in Maine, if that's you're thing.
The second letter is even more disturbing: Hang out at McDonald's on Wednesday evenings, when divorced, broke dads while away the brief hours of their court mandated weekly visitation with their small children.
The demographic of single women who prefer divorced, possibly bitter and/or bankrupt men who are part owners of small children has got to be nearly as small as the crossword-solving-octogenarian-Down Easter niche.
The letter warns that these men may be touchy, damaged, and inclined to hate all women but says that "one woman's trash is another woman's treasure," which is high praise indeed.
Even so, wouldn't a single (childless) woman feel a bit awkward clambering up Mayor McCheese? And who do you chat up first: the potential husband or the prospective step child?
Personally, I'd begin with the children, gathering detailed information about their behavior, eating habits, bed time, and the details of the custody arrangement before zeroing in on the fathers.
Is there a more ludicrous, ineffective/ sure-to-lead-to-disaster way to meet single men? Forthcoming Dear Abby columns are rumored to recommend becoming a prison pen pal, hanging around a battered women's shelter, or getting involved in the hair or fashion industry. Happy hunting, ladies.
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